Sunday, February 28, 2010


As i write this, i honestly don't know what exactly i'm going to talk about. I know i just need to vent. I am sorry we r meeting(after like 10 days) at such an angry time and i'll like to apologise for that but life threw me a curveball last night so understand. Want to know why i am so pissed??. I was going to tell you anyways. I came back home last night to find my whole room fucking flooded. I literally couldn't believe my eyes and my legs for that matter. I was walking in a freaking pool. Irony is that only that morning i was ranting about how i really needed to swim. who knew i'd be doing just that come night time kmt. The cause of this unfortunate incident?? The freaking plumbing system in my bathroom gave out. Can u believe that?? And YES i had important stuff all over the floor.....all soaked. My bb case gone, my books, my chargers all wet. I knew i should have returned those books to where i keep them but i left the house in a hurry. kmt again. The thing i am most grateful for is that i had taken my project off the floor last week and kept it ontop of my wardrobe. I would have visibly cried(very hard to believe). ok i would have tried crying(i still cannot believe that). ok i would have been terribly saddened(more like it). My group member and I have been working on that all semester. We are building an inverter. She would have killed me.

I had to sleep in my housemates room. He didnt have a second pillow or a duve and on my way to get mine from my room, I slipped and fell. YEP....ass first into the pool of water. I was holding my bb..... I performed some 007 stunts ehn(James Bond himself would have been very proud). So i ended up getting soaked and breaking a nail but my bb went unscathed(at this point i would like to send a FAT FUCK YOU to the person that scratched my bb and happily gave it back to me...nw my baby sports a huge star to coverup the blemish). Moving on..... Now I have to clean up or rather, Prince has to cleanup :) (he is the help).... I am going to make his day when he is done. I helped move the stuff out of the room tho but I am too upset to do much else. Anyways my insomnia buddy(a very cute someone by the way) helped get my mind off all the bullshit last night. I slept off and left him tho...guess i was too tired and he drinks too much coffee(sorry boo). So now my room is getting spring cleaned or rather dry season cleaned(ok that doesn't sound as nice). You get the idea sha.

In other news, when is lent ending o....people have been very grouchy nowadays. Apparently their significant others gave up sex for lent hehe!!...(brave significant others). Some people i am sure have already cheated lol. I am quite sure a dude has blamed his inability to get it up on lent. I can just imagine the scene:

Dude: (kissing sounds)... yes baby...(more kissing sounds)
Babe: You like that? (nw unzipping trousers)
DudE: (moaning)....
Babe: baby why are you still soft
Dude: Am I?? (now checking)...oh shit
Babe: What's wrong
Dude: I err....said i'll give up my erections for lent.
Babe: Really??
Dude: Yep. this is a spiritual something. Lets go to bed

Next day......

Dude: Honey i'm home...what's for dinner
Babe: O nothing... you see, i gave up hunger for lent. Its a spiritual something.

Till next post guys!!! Be good..............X

Friday, February 19, 2010

Tales by LED's

I last blogged four nights ago. I wasn't here three nights ago because there was no electricity(I am in Africa). Sad as it may be to admit that(not the Africa part but the Electricity part), it's the truth. On twitter, a couple of us have been trying to get #LightupNIgeria to trend. Most people think that it's a complete waste of time because our government isn't on twitter so will never see it but i don't think its a complete waste of time. I do not participate because i want our Government officials to see it; i participate because its a means of awareness. Do u know how many people are on twitter?? Well a lot. The possibilities that could arise from that one single act are so much. Its like a cry for help and we never know who will come to our aid.(ok nw i digress seeing as I'm in Ghana at the moment and the reason there was no light was cos something blew at the power station hehe!!. There is constant electricity most of the time in Ghana).

Anyways, as i lay on my bed in the dark(Laptop was dead and phone was dead), all i could think of was what to do. I mean, my house was so quiet. Everyone had gone to bed cos there was nothing to do. I imagined what the kids were doing at the moment seeing as there was no light. They were probably outside playing or telling stories. I wanted to hear a story so bad i wished i could be a kid again. They are just so carefree its beautiful. So today's post is all bout me trying to relive a childhood moment. We are going to have our very own story time. (At this point, i would like you to put off all lights. Only your PC, Laptop, Phone should be emitting light at the moment). This is an interactive session so feel free to speak/ask questions(as a comment ofcourse). I'll respond.

Story Story(here you say story). Story Story(......). Once upon a time there was a girl called Bisi and she lived at home with her mother and two brothers. She attended a university close to her home and was majoring in International Business. She was 20years of age and was not in a relationship. Infact, she'd never been in one cos of her upbringing. She was raised in a very strict christian way and considered almost everything as a sin. At this point in her life, she was curious about the whole relationship deal and boys as a whole. So she was secretly scouting. She asked as many questions as she could but this didn't quench her curiosity. One day, as she was coming out of a lecture, she bumped into someone. Her books fell and so did the person's. They both bent to pick them up. The "person" was faster than she was so she was still gathering hers when she heard "Hello u r Bisi right?, well i'm Grace". Bisi had a small "sad moment". She had been praying it was a guy so they'd have one of those "movie moments". She stood up and responded "yea i'm Bisi. Nice to meet you Grace. How do you know my name?. Grace replied "well you are always answering questions in class. Everybody knows your name". Bisi reddened(she was light skinned). They walked together to the cafeteria gisting and getting to know themselves. After Lunch, they made plans to meet after school.

Bisi got home very excited. Grace had told her there would be a lot of guys where they were going to. She couldn't understand why she was so excited. She thought of a good lie to tell her mum. Her mum was quite gullible. At the agreed upon time, she was at the spot waiting for Grace. A couple of men tried to hit on her and she drank it all in. She hadn't gotten this type of attention before. Bisi was in "heaven". Grace got there eventually and they ordered drinks and partied and had a lovely time. In the cab back to their respective abodes, Grace tried to hit on Bisi. She went in for a kiss and Bisi taken by surprise, didn't move. So Bisi's first kiss ever was with a girl. She surprisingly wasn't repulsed so they had a few more kisses. Bisi couldn't believe what was going on but she didn't want to offend Grace. Needless to say, it was a very awkward situation. The cab got to Bisi's first and Bisi jumped out said goodbye and practically ran into the house. As she lay on her bed that night, she figured she could have something with Grace. Infact it might be better for her cos she'll remain a virgin and no one will ever know. She fell asleep with these thoughts in her mind.

The next couple of days were really busy for Bisi so she and Grace couldn't hook up. On Saturday, Grace took Bisi to her flat. They got in the mood and things got steamy. Grace took Bisi into the room and they kicked things up a notch. Clothes went flying. Bisi was quite enjoying herself until she saw the dildo. Her heart she swears stopped beating. My girl was in for the shock of her life. As Grace brought the dildo closer, Bisi moved back till she was at the edge of the bed. Before Grace knew what was happening, Bisi ran out of the room like all the demons in the world were after her. Naked and all. Hailed a cab, and got home(the cab driver almost got into four accidents cos he wasn't looking). She ran into her room and cried. Bisi needless to say went in for therapy. She kept telling the doctors "killed a man and was holding his thing; his thing; killed a man; pink; his thing". She is currently still in the psych ward. THE END. :)

#Lesson: Be informed.

PS: For those that don't know, LED's are Light Emitting Diodes and they are found in most screens.

Monday, February 15, 2010

XX = ???

Today i took off my braids and had a weave put on. All this took about seven hours(give or take a few minutes). While seated(on my very sore bum i must add), all i could think of were the other things i could have been doing at that moment. Time waits for no one. I mean, how many guys can say they spent seven hours cutting their hair(vain much??)??. This got me thinking about all the "ridiculous" things women do in the name of grooming, beauty, fashion etc.

Being a former tomboy, i would do myself no justice if i don't start with my biggest problem. HIGH HEELED SHOES!!!. Granted it adds a little bit 2 my height(I'm quite short), but the price i pay isn't worth it at all and besides i love my height :). Gone are the days i used to wear hoodies and shorts to clubs with my trainers, now i look all girlie in my dresses which have to be worn with heels kmt. I SUFFER IN SILENCE(ok i lie...i complain throughout) all because I'm trying to achieve a particular look. Most times, i end up taking my shoes off midway(yes i do that). One time, my shoes got stolen. I'm quite sure a stripper took it(don't ask me what proof i have. call it a sixth sense :) ).

The second thing would be shaving(but lets call it WAXING so the severity can be understood). If you have ever waxed before, you would understand how painful this is. We do it anyways. God forbid a strand of hair should appear on our arms or legs. I don't wax tho but i have a friend that does and I'd like 2 share an experience of hers. Sometime ago, on a beautiful Saturday, she woke up and decided the hair on her body must go. Veet was not good enough for my girl. She decided to wax. She got the kit(hers required the microwave. Apparently the wax had to be hot). So she started with her legs and moved unto her arms. All the while yelping in pain. Ok the deed gets done. Five minutes later, we see bumps(not goosebumps). YES arm bumps(like the kind you see on guys just after they shave). I laughed so hard, tears came out of my eyes. She had to wear long sleeves for about a week. It was torture for her lol. She is now a big fan of veet :)

Now lets talk about the "Less is More" concept the entertainment industry has. Women are no longer expected to wear clothes in music videos. Abomination!!. You have to be almost naked.The funny part about it is that the guys now wear more. Its like they are trying to compensate lol. Baggy this, Baggy that, waistcoats, Jackets etc. Give some to the Ladies please. That is why there are some ladies that would forever have my respect. They have refused to sell out and they are still making their mark on the industry. Kudos!!!

And finally, the hours burnt doing things like Eyebrow tweezing , Fixing nails, Making hair, Spa sessions etc all in the name of looking good. I remember growing up, i used to wish that I'd wake up one day and discover I'm a guy. Never happened :(. Now tho i have come to appreciate and even love being a part of this "race" called women. I don't support some of the things "they" do, but i won't change who i am for anything.

PS: For those that don't know, XX means two X chromosomes and this represents the female gene.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

BaCk Up!!!

On my way home today, i happened to find myself by the road side trying to hail a cab(don't even ask how this happened cos that is a different story on its own). Anyways, i'm standing there by the side of the road and all the cabs passing by are occupied kmt. I'm about to call a friend to come pick me up when some dude drives past in his red car(funnily enough, i'm not into cars so i cant tell u what he was driving) and parks at the next road(i was standing at a tee-junction). Dude steps out of his car and starts walking towards me. I honestly thought he was going to pass me by but to my "amazement", dude stops when he gets to me. The following conversation takes place;

Dude: Hello, my name is Johnson.
Me: Hello!!
Dude: Where are you headed?
Me: This way(i point in the direction. Bear in mind this direction is in the opposite direction from where he parked his car)
Dude: Where exactly? Ayeduase, Boadi, Kotei??(these are all places in that direction)
Me: Boadi(i couldn't tell him where exactly i was going for obvious reasons)
Dude: I'm headed there. Can i give you a ride??
Me: But its in the completely opposite direction from where you parked. How could you be headed there?
Dude: I live there
Me: Thank you very much but i'll pass
Dude: Are you sure? I could drop you
Me: Thank you very much but i'd much rather take a cab
Dude: But i could drop you
Me: (irritated stare) i'd prefer you didnt.
Dude: ok..(walks away)

So many women have had this conversation before. But then, it isn't only limited to women. Even guys get harassed. Just this evening, i was with a friend and she was telling me of how our mutual friend met a Nigerian musician at some club and cornered him. Her aim?? To get his BB pin by force(at this point i should mention i used to be a groupie for this artist and i would never beg for his pin). So you can imagine how hard this was for me to relate to. This babe is one of those "fly" types so i couldn't get it at all. Friendship is not by force. I am a big believer in destiny which some find odd since i am also a realist. I don't believe one has anything to do with the other tho. You can meet someone and have a pleasant enough conversation without anybody feeling like their space had been invaded. My friend's conversation with the musician could have gone this way

Friend: Hello!! I am a big fan of your work(which i don't even believe)
Artist: Thank you very much.
Friend: Can i take a pic with you??
Artist: O sure
(pic taken)
Friend: So what are you doing here
Artist: O i've got a show
Friend: Really?? when and where?? I'd love to come
Artist: So so so place at so so so time
Friend: Thanks. Goodluck with your show
Artist: Thankyou.
(Here, i think if the artist wants to talk 2 u more or see you later he'd say something. At which point, u could tell him you'd be busy hehe!! :P. If not, its bye-bye. Life goes on.)

Now if/whenever the aforementioned Nigerian artist runs into my friend, i am quite sure he would make sure his security is impenetrable. lol.

Now i am sure someone else is of the opinion this is how people meet. I am not arguing with that fact but please can u try and not be all up in my face all because you want to know me. Read the bloody signals kmt.

In other news, today is/was Valentines day. Had a lovely time. Now its on to the next one :). For those that are still in the "love" mode, errr....i have many friends that are November babies. My brother was born November 14th #justsaying :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Ok we all know the new Jason Derulo song that shares the same name as this post and I'm sure most of u are thinking this post is gonna be all about romance n all that right??........well, GUESS again.

Speech is difficult for many people. I know that and those people are exempted from the wrath of this post. As for the rest, u have no bloody excuse. why would u be murdering the Queens language. Yes i said MURDER cos that's what i think you are doing. I mean some people open their mouth, and i cringe/grimace/passout(ok the last one has not happened yet but its only a matter of time) and its not from their mouth odour(i wish it was. Atleast we could make good use of the cellphone hehe!!), its from the sound they produce. And YES u guessed right they don't know sign language either(if they did, i would have a PHD in sign language. That's how much i love English). I can try and forgive those with the DEEP accents(i said try) but when you start speaking with constant grammatical errors, every time u speak, i picture a gun(and its not for me). I figure I'd be doing the society a big favour no?. I even have my full defense already prepared and when I'm done, the judge would probably start handing guns out so my deed can be carried out by all. I'm sure when you know you might be shot, you would make an effort to know if its "breastfeeded or breastfed". YEP someone said or rather typed that on twitter some days back. I gave the poor word a moment of silence.

That's why when my friends go crazy over fine boys or try to hook me up, i simply ask for phone numbers first. Most guys think that's rather forward and YES i am quite forward but its also for my own peace of mind. I cannot have a close friend that is lacking in the grammatical dept. If i did, you'd be like a journal. Just listening :).

The second one that irks me would be when you are telling me something then you suddenly say "don't worry". Like WTF. I was by myself and you came with your worthless gist. After making me interested, you now decide not to share. well, here i go with the once bitten twice shy approach. Don't even try to tell me anything again. My time is too precious for all that. The worst is when cos i didn't hear you, you now say "i was not born twice". WHAT THE FUCK does that even mean. Like what is the relationship with that and simply making yourself a little louder. At this point, i would most likely walk you out of my room unless we are really close then i'd just assume you are joking and give you a small "haha". Terrible joke.

There was a point in my life, i used to say "watchu say" when i couldn't hear you. My brothers all thought it was cute and whenever i said it, they would all repeat. Well its been a while since i said it. Now i just say "sorry??". i should go back to my "watchu say??".(just a thought)

In other news, i didn't go out last night so "he" didnt end up seeing me(refer to previous post). I know they would say i broke a promise but my fingers were crossed and they pressured me into giving it. HA!!. Serves them right.

#Lesson: Never Pressure ME :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

LOoking Back!!!

Don't u just hate hangovers?? Every little sound is magnified and ironically that's when my friends decide to be the loudest. Not this morning tho. Everyone is sporting an identical headache hehe!! BLISS!!. So the house is sooo quiet. (did i mention BLISS??). :). Well last night was quite a night. Friend had a party(obviously) and the quantity of booze was quite alarming. I contributed by providing bloody mary's.(i just had to say that :P).

Waking up this morning, i tried to remember ALL that took place last night. I danced(most people would go like "obviously" to that statement but you've got 2 see me dance first to get why i told you that). Anyways, i danced(not your swing to the right and swing to the left kind of movement but the kind of dance that leaves most very HARD). And boy were they Hard(That is not a smug statement but an honest one) and being a girl, i obviously get a lot of satisfaction from that but that's all there is to it for me. But most always want to take it past the dance floor and to them i say "yeah right". You probably have a bigger chance of making heaven. (now i digress). So Dude1 whispers in my ear that i should write my number on a paper and give him(O_O). In this day and time WHO SAYS THAT?? His bloody cellphone was in his pocket. Well yours truly asked him if he doesn't have a phone and my guy produced the phone. He got my number but then i change those like i drink water(here i would love to say i am not in the "yahoo" business. I just have a voice fetish so I'm always exchanging numbers and at a point i get a stalker or two and that number gets changed).

Dude2 wanted to sleep in my room. can do. I don't roll that way love and plus he is quite a good friend so i'mma blame his lust on the alchohol(or not :D). I did give him a lap dance tho(another thing i do quite well). Dude3(the one i actually like) got just a goodnight from me. Don't want 2 jinx nothing. So i did absolutely no crazy deed last night which is quite a relief cos i tend to go really hyper when the alchohol in my blood is more than the water. Dude1 did tell me in what i'm sure he thinks was a sexy voice that he'll see me this night(cos there is a party in his crib). Yes he will SEE(fullstop) me.

To round it off, me and my bestie now have a tradition that gets all the boys in the room thinking(including her man) and yesterday after we had told ourselves goodnight, all the boys wanted one too so they got one each on the cheek :).

So from my memory, last night ended on that note. Yours truly snuggled up to Lulzy(my turtle teddy) and called it an AM(twaz bout 4:30am).

PS: My football(soccer) team WON the game 2 days ago so now we are 6 points shy of the top of the table.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


For those of you who don't know me personally, this would probably be news to you. My best/fav colour is black followed closely by lilac. I have an obsession with colours. If something about you intrigues me, i am bound to ask you what your favourite colour is. Maybe some other time i'll talk about the results of my research. Today its all about BLACK.

Dear Sir,

I am of the opinion my best colour has been unfairly treated. I mean most people only think of black when they are going to funerals or want 2 do dirty work. Black is a very sleek colour and should be given a lot more respect. The colour makes me happy(believe it or not). I believe people should be allowed to pick whatever colour depresses them and wear that to funerals. I mean if black makes me happy, why would i want to wear it to a somber event. I would much rather wear yellow. Stupid colour. My friend says i feel this way cos i love black and i'm like DUH!!!. Why else would i dedicate a whole blog post to my ravings. Her best colour is Orange(go figure). The only place i wouldn't wear black to would probably be my wedding and that is only cos my mother would most definitely kill me. I am also mostly attracted to darker men(YES i am racist like that).
so if you guys will meet and deliberate and let the real world know BLACK is a very nice fellow, i would be most grateful.

Yours Sincerely,
Nono E.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Now i would love to apologise(although i don't know who exactly i'm apologising to seeing as i've told no one about this blog) for neglecting my blog as my brother so loudly stated in the last post. I changed my mind about blogging shortly after creating this blog.......o well i'm here now *sheepish grin*

Recently i have taken a liking to cocktails. cant seem to stand anything else. Even my boo JD(Jack Daniels) has been cast to the side. I have tried close to twenty cocktails now and best so far being the barmans rail. Bloody waiter refused to tell me what was in it kmt. So now i am determined to make my own cocktails(and i dont mean a mixture of random drinks). I'm talking of professional cocktails that actually have recipes.
Today i made my first ever official cocktail YAY!!!. A friend gave me the recipe plus i googled it(God bless Google). The Bloody Mary as the cocktail is called is quite a drink if i must say so myself. Doesnt come anywhere close to my best tho but maybe that's cos i made it(although i doubt that). I spent a lot of time trying to make the perfect tomato juice. Apparently water is NOT your friend wen it comes to this feat but as you can guess, i had to learn that the hard way. Hopefully tomatoes dont start growing in my backyard(that's where i poured the failed results). Finally yours truly got her act in order and the best tomato juice ever was born. I salute whoever thought of the name for the drink. PERFECT. so as i type this, i'm sipping on my bloody mary :). Its basically a mixture of vodka, tomato juice, lime, (u could add salt, pepper or sugar depending on ur taste buds) and ofcourse ice.
I am almost tempted to make another batch cos my football(soccer) team is about to play and we have been on a losing streak lately, alchohol is now a necessity. I'm extremely loyal so its kinda impossible for me to desert them so i grin(not so much) and bear it. I mean it can only get better right??

PS: I am told that saying "Bloody Mary" three times infront of a mirror can lead to terrible consequences. "BUllshit" i say :)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Avoiding Embarrasment

This blog has been here for exactly a month and I have barely put up anything. I've lost interest, obviously. So, this post is to stop me from looking like an utter twunt whenever people click the link from my brother's blog.
Follow me on Twitter. I'm bound to be there.

Ps.This is actually Dexter trying to save his sister's face. She's going to kill me later.