My Night With Soundcity!!!

The French Open is going on now but I always miss it because I’m at work till six. Last night, I was lucky enough to catch the last two sets of the Hewitt game but I already knew who was gonna win so no excitement there. I decided to spend my evening watching Nigerian music videos. If I’m gonna go into the industry I might as well familiarise myself with what’s out there no?? I got my dinner and a drink and sat down to watch.

First up was a video which I caught midway and left to do something towards the end so I don’t know who was singing or what the name of the song was but I almost choked on my food. The setting was supposed to be “the hood”. Atleast that’s what it looked like but the members of this hood were missing. Completely empty street. Infact it was like “the hood” after a major gang battle but even then, the curious ones would be out investigating. Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. Next up was the “I love you” video by Psquare. I need to have a long chat with whoever wrote the script for this video. #FAIL. A bunch of models sitting on sofas and blowing us kisses. Infact there was absolutely no creative content. The song is such a good song. I cant understand why the video couldn’t be up to par. Then came “yori yori” by Bracket. At this point I would like to mention the name APE PLANET cracks me up. Really?? Ape planet?? What inspired that?? Lol. While the video was playing, I couldn’t take my eyes off the two girls in the background with the dudes dancing. Were they backup dancers or were they trying to emulate a club scene?? And the drummer dude?? Err…..ok. Next up was “perfect girl” by Cartiar ft Buckwylla. I think Cartiar is a really neat rapper. Again, I felt the video could have had a better storyline. As it was, there was NO storyline. Just a couple of female artists being shown one after the other. I loved the song tho but since we are focusing on the video, I’d have to say it was very forgettable.

Next up was “like this” by Duncan Daniels featuring MI. The video was ok I guess. Compared to the others I had just seen, this was a welcome change. The massive autotuning in the song is another matter completely. As it is, I don’t know if the dude can indeed sing. Then came “ready to go” by Styl Plus. The video was very much like the Run it video by Chris Brown. Infact I felt like I was watching a version of run it that was scrapped by Chris. Especially at the dance battle part lol. Next up was “obi mu o(remix)” by Obiwon and a couple of other artists. I love this song. Video wasn’t bad but the part Obiwon was in the sand kinda felt like an oracle lol. I could just replace the beach scene with a shrine and he’d fit right in. my bro said he was feeling the song too much. I’m bound to agree lol. Nice one tho. I loved the couple at the end. Next was “pincode” by Pincode. I felt something was wrong. Like soundcity took the video of another song and played pincode in the background. One of my best videos of the night. It was true to the concept but sadly in my opinion, it wasn’t right for the song. At this point, I was nodding off. Apparently I was tired. I called it a night.

In other news, I think my phone(Silver) might be gay. I was taking a shower this morning and just when I was about to sponge my bottom, she started playing “Mr Endowed” by Dbanj. I kid you not. The song that was playing initially hadn’t even finished. I should sign her up for councelling or something innit? O well….i cant really punish her for stating the obvious can i?? :)

In The Skies!!!

If you know me at all, you would know I hate airplanes. Infact I hate flying. The fact I am always flying is just soooo annoying. I guess it borders on the fact I can't sit on my ass for more than six hours straight hence travelling by road is just out of the question. As for sea, let's not even get into that. NO THANKYOU VERY MUCH. Even if u gave me a free ticket with extra money on top, I wouldn't accept so by default, air it is. I am going to take you through a day in my mind on a bad "air day". Buckle up people!!!
PS: everything enclosed in the quotation mark is what's going on in my mind/head ie a thought.

"1,2,3,4...." I'm counting my steps as I roll my hand luggage through the badly lit walk way that leads to the entrance of the plane. "Why can't these air hostesses wear black for a change" you all know black is my best colour. "I don't know why these hostesses think I am dumb. The seat numbers are written very plainly for me to see. Why do they have to tell me exactly where it is" by this time, my mood is foul. I proceed to my seat. After my hand luggage has been safely stowed away, I take my seat. I buckle up. Pilot proceeds to welcome us to the plane and thank us for choosing to fly with them. "Ewo!!! Dude can't even speak english properly. Why the fuck is he flying this plane". At this point, I am now nauseous. Air hostesses proceed to take us through all the safety procedures. "Why do they even waste our time with this ish. They know there will be extreme panic should there be any problem up there. When they have come up with a pod that we can get in before the plane crashes that will save us from the impact, they should wake me". We are now ready for take off. "O my God its not my time yet o. I'm just letting u know" *shaky smile*

"Why is this plane tilted like this. O God O God O God. This shaking should please stop" at this point, I'm firmly gripping the seat right in front of me. "Jesus Jesus Jesus does the plane have a reverse button?" plane stops shaking. "Ahhhh better". I look out the window. "Darn!! See those clouds. I hope this dude knows not to go near them o. I was not a cast in matrix for a reason and I don't think he was o". Ping!! The fasten seat belt sign gets switched off. "Yay!!!!!!!!! Atleast the pilot doesn't think we will be experiencing any turbulence" I breathe in deeply and let it out. We soar. I say little prayers at every cloud we see. Hostess comes with snacks. I take nothing. I don't want to add vomit cleaning to anyone's job. We cruise.


Pilot announces that we will soon land. Cabin crew should please take their seats. Ping!! The fasten seat belt sign comes back on. Plane shakes. "Jesus Jesus Jesus. This plane can like to behave itself o". More shaking. "God pls 4give me for all my sins". Shaking stops. At this point, my eyes are firmly shut. I feel(you'd be amazed at the things you can feel with your eyes shut) the wheels come out. Plane is still shaking like its got epilepsy or something. I'm still firmly gripping the seat in front of me n praying like I belong to some prayer warrior camp. We land. I breathe. I switch on my phone asaply. "Open those doors lemme get out of here already". Air hostess tells me goodbye I give her a murderous look. It takes all my willpower not to add the finger to that look. I roll my hand luggage out. Ahhhh!!! LAND.

Many hour glasses later........

I hate feeling uneasy. Its synonymous with my feeling helpless. That's exactly how I feel at the moment. My passport is missing. :(. The father will have my head when I get back. I really hate being shouted on. I guess I hate a lot of things. Anyways, this post is all about me trying to cheer myself up. I'll letchu know if it worked at the end.

I picture me in a couple of years. I am my own boss(that's if u don't count the husband. Infact count him in too hehe!!). I have a kid and the second is on the way. I'm about 7months ripe with dat one. I look like a freaking elephant(X_X). He tells me everyday I'm beautiful(I know he doesn't lie). If he starts telling me I'm sexy, then he lies :). I won't mind the lie sha. I'll group it under white(refer to white lie post). He doesn't mind my doing things. He let me sit and grow fat when I was pregnant with the first one. He sees that as learning from experience lol. Apparently he is not a big fan of the elephant look. "Baby don't you wanna take a stroll with me??" His way of getting me to excercise. I don't mind though. I love my baby with a zeal you can't imagine. We stroll. I smile.

I forgot to tell you our first baby is a boy. Takes after his father lol. He loves playing with my bulging tummy. Really takes after his father hehe!! The first time the little one kicked, both of them were there. I watched their faces while they watched my belly. I wish I had my camera. My two men. I'm secretly hoping this baby is a girl. I know they will spoil her but that why I'm there innit?? To make sure it doesn't get out of hand. Ok I want to pee now. Brb. Apparently excessive peeing is part of the process. I'm used to that now though.

Ok I'm back. She just kicked. Gimme a second......ok. She's stopped. The doc informed me last week that I might be giving birth on my birthday. I'm sooo excited about that. I doubt she will be when she turns sixteen tho lol. I'll enjoy her childhood while it lasts. I remember when I started getting embarassed by my mum. Sixteen. I'll probably laugh if she ever says "mum ur embarrassing me". Lol. I don't like labour pains but my baby boy is probably the best thing that happened to my husband and I. I'd go through the process over and over again for another bundle of joy. I remember when I told him I was pregnant again. He was so excited lol. We watched our movie. That's all I needed really. To be held by him. Ok I think I have to pee again. I'll be going to find my baby as soon as I'm done. This lady needs some TLC(tender loving care). Deuces.:)

Ok I'm a bit cheered up. :)

You owe us an explanation.

I saw a retweet on my timeline about a particular body language song. We all know how much I love music. I of course clicked on the link which took me to the reverbnation page of an artist called Smiley. I had been following her on twitter already but I had no idea she sang. I downloaded the song and I was amazed. I kid you not. I compared her to Nicki Minaj. Again, I kid you not. I was sooo excited that such a talented artist could be a full fledged Nigerian that I wasted no time in sharing her music. We all know how I get when I'm excited about something. Nothing could shut me up. I was all Smiley this and Smiley that. I felt she was a better rapper though. I even included her in my music piece(refer to sounds and lyrics from naija). She slowly warmed her way into her hearts with her quirky humour on the social network twitter. Always abusing her unfollowers. All jokes though.

A few days ago, I got a DM(direct message on twitter) from her about a blog post she wanted me to share. She was apologising to everyone for the misunderstandings about her songs. Apparently she was accused of claiming the cover songs as hers. In this apology, she stated that body language, cry and a couple other songs were all hers. Written, sang and produced by her and based on personal experiences. I felt the apology made no sense because everyone ought to know a cover song from an original one.

This evening, new information came to light which saddens me immensely. I am not one to give into idle gossip and rumours but I believe there is some truth to this. If there weren't, our dear Smiley won't have gone MIA on us. I mean people that risked their reputation for you deserve to hear your part of the story. We are told body language, cry and a couple of other songs which you claimed were yours aren't actually yours. If this is true, your career which hadn't even started has come to an unexpected end. I believe you know this. Why then are you choosing not to speak up? In this case, silence is indeed acceptance. I am extremely disappointed. I see people tweet about how we are all liars and hence should give you a break and I feel like smacking someone. Since when did lying become acceptable? The music industry is a zone of pure hustling. Best believe that. Any and everyone that can hold a note(and some who can't) are trying to make it up there and you come and do this? You disrespect a lot of people. This is bigger than most people understand. So people have a right to be very upset. Very very upset. Friendship even makes it worse. Anyone that has had a friend and been betrayed by them knows how this feels. So when some people tweet about how others are being unfair and not having your back now, I would like to give them directions to the nearest electric pole. You aren't having our backs either. You've gone MIA on us. Where are you??

Please read/You can like to read this o/omo take eye look am.

“chei!! I haff died o. Can u imagine what I saw in faculty?? Com see com sa. Ahhh!!! My eyes don bleed tire. Ahn ahn. One babe like this wore one of em ruffled up blouses and tucked it into a pair of jeggings. I was like ewo!! Yes o she had a pot belly. Me I think say person tell am to do it. Maybe money dey involved. It is not possible for her to have woken up by herself and put that on. Ahhh. Ebami ooo. In my mind I was like she can like to remove the shirt from the jeggings o. then I remembered she cannot read my mind. Lol. As in!! I was just laughing like a fool. I think she knew I was laughing at her sha because she take leg waka with speed pass wey I dey stand. Is the new trend now tucking in to jeggings?? *Yoruba explesive*”

I swear this is what most people I know sound like nowadays. It’s like we have to prove we are polished, razz and agbero all at once. I’m choosing to blame it on a complex. Lol. it’s like if you go with pure unadulterated English, “they” will say “which one is she forming like this?? Are we in yankee??”. If you go with adulterated English, “they” will say “razz much??”. If you go with pidgin + explesives in whichever language of your choice, “they” will say “abgero much??”. Now do u agree with me this is really a complex?? I doubt anybody really says any of these things. There is no “they”. Personally, I really can’t be bothered as long as you excel in whichever direction you are going in. if you go with proper English then I beg of thee, please no gbagauns. Same goes for the other two hehe!!!. I think if people don’t recognize this as a problem, it will soon become a norm and might affect the way we speak at important events. I mean even this text lingua is beginning to mess with my head whenever I type up something. You don’t want to know how many times I have gone back to complete some words already. lol.

In other news, I am now a graduate. *wide grin*. I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL. I want to be one of those people that say “I am doing what I love doing as my job” that’s why I’m taking a leap of faith and digressing completely from what my degree is in. I hope it pays out. *now crossing all my body parts*.

White or not, it still is!!!

I hear the term “white lie” a lot and I think its just plain ridiculous. It’s still a lie. I mean what exactly differentiates it from your everyday lie?? Nothing in my opinion. When I was a lot younger I used to ask if it was called white because a white person came up with it. That got me a lot of laughs from my classmates. Funny thing is, none of them knew what a white lie was either. Guess who got the last laugh?? hehe!! Suckers!!. I believe in complete honesty but I find this can be really difficult because people do not let it. Yes you read right. I blame other people for my lack of complete honesty. Let’s look at an example. You go to a club and see your friend’s man hitting on a couple of girls. You think it’s just innocent flirting there is nothing wrong with that right?? Wrong. It progresses from innocent flirting to full on making out. Your natural course of action would be to inform your friend of this atrocity. You call her up the next day and proceed to inform her about the previous evenings happenings. She thanks you on the phone and hangs up. Next day, you run into another friend who questions your motives towards friend A’s husband. You of course are quite confused. New friend proceeds to tell you of how friend A is telling everyone you are trying to take her husband from her. Next time, won’t you just shut your mouth?? Infact you might even offer to buy new cheating husband plus new husband snatcher a drink(ok not likely).

I watch the tv reality singing series called idols and I marvel at some of the people that audition. I keep asking myself if they don’t have family or friends that are there to beg them not to audition for their own self pride. I mean I listen to some people and I wonder how the sound system there succeeded in not making that screeching sound we all hate. I have come to the conclusion that even the sound systems know the screeching noise coming from the “auditioner “is enough. Anymore would just render all of us(the viewers) permanently deaf. You’d think I couldn’t be anymore shocked right?? Wrong again. Apparently the so called family members and friends I was talking about earlier are waiting outside with their fingers crossed waiting for a positive answer. O_O. I would blame it on their being tone deaf but you can’t really expect me to believe all your family members and friends are tone deaf. The only logical answer I can come up with would be the white lie told so as not to hurt your feelings. I mean, its much better you hear it from the judges 'cause believe it or not, we humans don’t do well with being told we are not as good as we think we are.

I have come to the realisation, lies are told by us, for us, to prevent us from getting hurt. A completely selfish motive I know but one we all can’t seem to live without. Sadly.

PS: For those who don’t know, a white lie is an often trivial, diplomatic or well-intentioned untruth and it is often offered in the interests of tact or politeness.

Right, Wrong or just plain Fate???

I sometimes daydream about the possibilities of alternate worlds. How many they are or if they even exist at all. I find great comfort in thinking there are(don’t ask me why). I think the “you’s” in the different worlds are always competing for dominance in your present life. A case in point would be you wake up in the morning and don’t feel like getting out of bed but you know you should. B you gets up and goes to take a leak. C you gets up and as he is going to the loo he hits his leg. D you doesn’t get up at all but sleeps on and you miss your very important appointment. Now in your present life, you are still trying to decide what to do. The different “you’s” battle it out and C wins. So as you get up to go use the loo, you hit your leg :p. So many different things could have happened but C won. (:p again).

I think this must have happened when Shaheen Jafargholi decided to sing Valerie by Amy winehouse for his Xfactor audition. I’m sure an alternate version of himself was supposed to originally sing who’s loving you by Micheal Jackson but his “Valerie version” won that battle and Valerie it was but here is where things get a little tricky(fate got involved). Although his “Valerie version” won, he was destined to sing who’s loving you eventually so Simon’s alternate sides played a part in his eventual “fate” by making him sing who’s loving you. This singular decision changed his life forever. Fate!!

PS: you would only understand these analogies if you watch Xfactor and have an imagination that’s top notch. Moving on……

I think this is exactly how our everyday life works. When you wake up in the morning, you have loads of different possibilities at your finger tips. How they unfold however is a different matter altogether. Sometimes, no matter what path you take, you get to the same destination while at other times, its either you crash and live to tell the story, crash and burn or make it. Haven’t you ever wondered what would have happened if you hadn’t signed that agreement or gotten on that flight or gotten in that fight?. Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and take all the other options so I know if I chose the right path and maybe err…pat myself on the back(what?? I’ve always wanted to do that without feeling silly :D). I know if we were always right, life would be really boring. No challenges whatsoever(atleast that’s what I think) so I guess the trials and errors are there for a reason. Its only futile if we learn absolutely nothing from them. My prayer is always that my wrong alternate sides win the battle when the situation isn’t that serious so that my right alternate side can win when it really does matter unless of course you are “royally screwed” and they both lead to the same ending i.e Fate comes into play. You’ve still gotta hope that Fate’s on your side innit? :)

Better many a stubbed toe than a fractured leg. (Nono E.)

errrr..........reading this post was FATE ;)

Leave a tattoo!!!

I was drawn to the squeaking sound. I knew I had heard it somewhere before. I could feel that sense of déjà vu. I went to check it out and sure as hunger, there lying on the floor was the culprit. A very cute, pink and blind culprit. (The first and last time I saw it was in my first year in secondary school. I was very into animals that time. I wanted to be a veterinary doctor. A senior student caught me with them and killed them. I think that was my first encounter with cruelty). I felt a tug at my heart strings. I went to my room, got a book, came back and scooped it up. I was about to leave when I heard another squeak. I looked around and sure as hatred, I found another. I picked it up too and placed both on the book. I placed the book on the table nearby and proceeded to play with them. They were so cold and helpless. One kept opening and closing its mouth while the other just lay there silently. Baby rats. They couldn’t be more than a few days old.

I couldn’t help but compare us to the baby rats. When you think about it, we are as defenseless and helpless as they are. Even blind too. We don’t know what lies in our tomorrow. We can only wait for it to come and pray that it holds only bright things for us. Just last week, two girls in my university lost their lives. They were doing the most ordinary of things when this happened. Sitting down. Yes you read right. They were not drunk, doing drugs, speeding, on a boat, on a plane, fighting etc. They were seated on a bench waiting for their friends when the walkway collapsed on them. One lost her life immediately while the other died in the hospital. I am quite sure that when they took that seat, death was the farthest thing on their mind. Infact I’m sure they didn’t think they could be any safer. We all pray that we live to the point where arthritis is eating at our bones and our teeth are falling out. The “three legged” stage.

I could have killed those baby rats(ok I couldn’t but you know what I mean). I think our lives are exactly the same way in the hands of our creator. All we can control is the now. Your actions. What will you be remembered for?? What tattoo will u leave behind?? I really hope it’s not nothing.