Arrrrggghhhhh!!!

Arrrrggghhhh!!!! that's exactly how i feel at the moment. i have been trying to write a report for two days now and yet i cant seem to get a break. All i have is the title of the report. As if that isn't enough, i have been sleeping like i was bitten by tse-tse fly these past two days(that must be why i haven't gotten any work done *light bulb moment*). ok i dont really agree with that analysis cos even when i'm awake, i cant seem to think. The only thing my mind seems to want to think about is my future. I honestly do not know what i want to do. That's the reason i want to serve first. I'm hoping the extra one year will give me some perspective n ofcourse i wanna do my service in the one industry i actually enjoy (drumroll)... MUSIC. I cant sing to save my life tho but i sure as hell can listen *silly grin*. I want Silverbird and i hope that works out cos i dont have a plan B. I dont even know what i wanna do there. I'm hoping they can decide [i'm one of those fate people :)n yea i just assumed i got the job(what do you know about faith)]

I am really good at a couple of things. The biggest one being that i am highly persuasive. Just ask my mom. years of practice on her has earned me a blackbelt(insert ninja sound). I can write and i am good at getting people to feel comfortable around me :). now we come to the wahala. what exactly are those skills good for??? Arrrrggghhhh!!!! My mum says i shouldnt worry that it'll come to me and HE says i can be anything i wanna be. So why dont i feel so reassured?? Maybe cos my parents have set such a high standard and i'm scared i wont meet up. i dunno. My dad would probably have heart palcipations if he found out i dont wanna continue engineering after university. Maybe i should just suffer in silence. Afterall the whole engineering future has been plotted out for me. i wont have to do any leg work. but now we come to another thing. I cannot suffer in silence(believe me i try). I always end up voicing my opinion and most times, my opinions dont fit in with the plan and once i detest something, i end up failing. I HATE FAILING.

I have been incredibly happy these past few days tho. Like i'm on another cloud. Only one thing can do that to a girl *silly grin*. i just wish i could sort out this whole "future" business so everything would just be perfect. Arrrgggghhhh!!!!. I have a test on tuesday and i am far from ready. i hate the course so you can guess that all aint going smoothly on that front. The Project we had been working on all semester was finally tested some days back and we got no waveform. That was the height of the disaster. Hopefully we can get everything fixed before May 8th. Arrrrggghhhh!!!. I feel like pulling my hair out now but err....somebody likes long hair *another silly gin*. so i am resorting to punching this keyboard as hard as i can and imagining myself pulling out my hair(my imagination is top notch :p). My bro told me my posts are quite long so i'll just stop here. I need directions tho :(