Sunday, July 11, 2010

The tub conspiracy!!!

Hmmmm....where do I start o!! Kai. This world is cruel o. My life has just been threatened. Very serious something. I can't even believe it sef. U see, I stumbled on a story which is up there in the hush hush department and now its either my silence or my life. *now looking left and right*. Oya gather in let me tell you all about it before she wakes up.

You see, my bathtub is a pimp. Yes I said it o. She is a prostitute madam. I just found out two days ago. Apparently she "lends" out the bathtub in the visitor's room(which is the only other female bathtub in the house) to all the male bathtubs at an auctioned rate. Seeing as she doesn't put herself up for "business", the men have to make do with just the one female(visitor's tub) so they usually carry out an auction and the highest bidder gets to have his way with her. My people can u believe this?? And here I was thinking my dear Peaches(my bathtub) was an angel. Hmmmm....I won't have even heard of this if there wasn't a war going on right now. The cause of this war, my black bucket. That one is just an aproko.

You see, my brother took him into the master bathroom where he had a conversation with the jacuzzi in there. Apparently, my guy(Jac) is as horny as fuck. Agro na bastard. That one asked mr bucket if there were any females in sight and bucket of course immediately told him about the bathtub downstairs(pinky) and jacuzzi was immediately hooked. Oya now, jacuzzi wanted to meet Pinky and bucket promised to arrange everything. Bucket now told peaches about jac's request and peaches became jealous. She wants Jac all for herself. Bucket tries to explain that he didn't think she would be interested and all that. I know peaches is only interested 'cause jac is a beaut. I mean, he can't be compared to the other male tubs @ all. Do you see the problem?? Jac wants Pinky but Peaches wants Jac.

Now you would think that since Jac has never met Pinky before, Peaches could just pose as Pinky and still have Jac. Not at all. My lovely bathtub is now slowly killing Pinky. She had a deal with the plumbing system to send acid filled water into Pinky's belly. Now Pinky is not feeling fine. She is slowly deteriorating(rusting) and I now know about this. Peaches has threatened that if I tell anyone about her plot, she will make sure I slip and fall while bathing.

So if you hear I am gone, you know who to blame o!!
That tub eeees tres evillll!!

10 comments:

  1. LOL..ur have a twisted mind!
    Love it..

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  2. LWKMD....so anything dat happens to u in the bath we know who did it...crazy girl...

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  3. You've got a bizarre imagination... Nice use of ur literary devices... *thumbs up*

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  4. LMAOOO!!! Hilarious! This was a great laugh, thanks. Your mind really is on a looooong leash!

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  5. Lovely piece. Quite diff from your previous (good) stuff. Euphemism toh berhd!!! (Y)..

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  6. Lmao! they even have names! iLove this!

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  7. lol you are half-MAD! iLike :D

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  8. and i thought i was crazy... u remind me alot about me its scary!!!!!!!

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